God, please sent this msg to my dear ar-yi.
I've been looking and searching the whole morning for the suitable quote. I found nothing because none of it can really describe my feelings. Is painful and hurtful to watch you go. But is all for the better, isn't it? God wants you back to his side.
Just few days ago, i watched u lying down unconsciously in the ICU. Everyone burst out crying when they first saw you. I didn't cry because i know it will be painful for you to watch us cry. Pingping was there too ar-yi, she brought you flowers. Khai told me to talk to you. I regret that I never talk to you. Seeing needles and pipes everywhere around you, i mean all over you, i was afraid to hold your hands, afraid that i might hurt your fragile hand. I gently touched your fingers and talk to God instead.
Boyboy called me the other day, he told me that you might not make it. I was stunned for a while. All these while, knowing that you were actually dying but i still have the thought that you will make it somehow.... stunned... so speechless. I cried finally. Helpless and hopeless.
You've been nothing but a very generous, helpful, kind, caring, understanding, loving and the list go on and on. Everybody likes you, everybody sayang you, everybody i know loves you !! My heart is still aching when Popo told me some stories when you were young just now. I still remember how nice you treated me when i first started college. You let me sleep on your bed while you slept on the floor. Ar-yi, where is your bantal busuk? Come visit my dream if you want it, i will ask uncle about it and burn it for you. I feel so sorry that i never attend your wedding dinner. I feel so guilty that i never have the chance to thank you. Thank you for being there for us when we need you. I am so sorry that we were not there when you need us. I am very sorry that we couldn't make it to your funeral, but i promise, the next time i visit you, i will bring you laksa.
Ar yi, we will try our best to help and take care of your baby. We will sayang her. Rest in peace ar-yi.
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